UN: Observer

[firacrux]

Local Man in Fetish Gear Creates Road Hazard During Parade. Discarded Belts Under Investigation.

Could he be working with the bomber?

Comments

please hold while I chain this

[silentnarration]

[WHAT]

[silentnarration]

[WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THIS ON THE INTERNET]

[silentnarration]

[It could be anyone who saw them that day but also...]

[text; private to Seifer; un: lionheart]

[silentnarration]

[There's a certain constant in his life who lives to harass him.]

Delete this.

Private|UN: Almasy

[firacrux]

[Oh no, he's been caught. Play it cool.]

Delete what, Leonhart? Ain't mine, I'm taking a nap.

[Liar, liar, pants on fire.]

text

[silentnarration]

Who else would it be? This is stupid

UN: GenuineDistress

[skyward_eyes]

[Funniest thing ever.]

Oh no! That’s horrid. What about the children? Could this person be dangerous tot hem?

UN: Observer

[firacrux]

[Oh good a Concerned Citizen to help bring these dangers to light!]

While we have no evidence suggesting the perpetrator has a specific target group if your children encounter any stray belts I'd advise them to keep well away. Who knows what this madman's plans could be?

UN: TheHorror!

[skyward_eyes]

Who cares about the damn children. Keep your hysterics to yourself woman. The real question is if we should be afraid of our own belts!

[Yes he will play off as multiple people in a forum.]

UN: Observer

[firacrux]

Belts conspiring against us of their own accord, mayhem in the streets! Inappropriately falling trousers!

[Absolutely none of this is to make sense and that's fine.]

un: aqua

[aguidingkey]

What do belts have to do with the bombing?

[ totally the most important part here. ]

UN: Observer

[firacrux]

Road hazard during the bombing, clearly an attempt to increase the number of casualties overall. Can't you see the correlation?

[If not, it's because she's not a crazy person blowing hot air to start an argument on the internet.]

un: aqua

[aguidingkey]

I really don't see the correlation. Maybe that's true, but are there other clues you've found that support this? There might be other reasons that these belts were found where they were.

[ she's definitely the clue-seeking type and the type to rain on a troll's parade... ]

UN: Observer

[firacrux]

Currently pending further investigation.

This is merely an observation.

[He thinks he's funny. He's not.]

un: samewall

[silentnarration]

They don't!!

un: aqua

[aguidingkey]

Then... what is this really about?

[ she is so confused... ]

[silentnarration]

A jerk trying to piss someone off.

[That someone not being him nope]

text; un: ADMIN

[headandhand]

Seifer Almasy.

If you have information regarding the party or parties responsible for the bombing attack during the Dualis Days festivities, it is your civic duty to report this to the nearest agent of the Hand.

text: UN: Almasy

[firacrux]

Oh shit.

No I'm just fucking around. The hell is this?

[headandhand]

In that case, let this be a warning that using the Dualink system to spread misinformation about matters of public safety is strictly against the Dualink ToS.

And as my username suggests, I am the Dualink admin. I am here to monitor content and provide support, where needed.

[firacrux]

Uh. Right. Understood.

[Please don't tase him.]

You guys are fast holy shit.

[Also a buzzkill.]

[sociallychallenged]

Back home joking like that could get you arrested. Especially after a public attack.

Pretty sure they're not going to be more lenient about it here. They don't seem to like anti-government humor and I wouldn't want to see someone taken into custody because they were just being an ass.

[Truth: Seifer isn't really hurting anyone, he's just being stupid and being stupid isn't a crime. He hates seeing people arrested for senseless things. Also truth: Seifer, you're being an ass.]

Some people around got kinda fucked up by the bomb, too, so it's not actually that funny. If you're targetting someone in particular you'd probably be better to go knock on their door and threaten to arrest them for indecent belt exposure.

UN: Observer

[firacrux]

[Man, now all the serious people come out and ruin the fun. Especially with guilt! How rude. Calling him out on his thoughtless shenanigans.

Seifer is almost always being an ass.]

Indecent belt exposure. I'm adding that to the list.

[He doesn't know how to comment on the rest so he's just going to tuck it away and sigh.]

UN: dpdhank

[sociallychallenged]

Yeah, it's a lot better to keep a ridiculous rap sheet on a guy's wardrobe than it is to accidentally name yourself as knowledgeable of a suspect in a bombing.

[He's not going to discourage teenagers from a good time, but them authoritarian societies man...]

UN: Observer

[firacrux]

[From military rearing to authoritarian dystopia. Can't they catch a break for a little trolling fun?]

To be fair. There were a lot of belts.

It's fashion terrorism at the very least.