[True. Still annoying but Squall really can't talk when he goes along with his ideas most of the time. He rolls his eyes, unsure of the answer himself as he enters to pull up one of the chairs and take a seat.]
Since just now. [He crosses one leg over the other and folds his arms, leaning back in the chair. He has to think for a moment to come up with something to say.]
[The eyeroll is an effective way to save face, Seifer has no rebuttal against it. Just a faint smirk. For all of Squall's huffing he does go along with Seifer's ideas, and in counter to that Seifer does let Squall get his way in subtle fashion. Like being allowed in for his unusual display of seeking socialization.]
[At the unprompted topic Seifer rose an eyebrow, turning enough to peer at Squall out of the corner of his eye.]
Oh yeah? Doin' what?
[He sincerely doubts there are many jobs around for their particular skill sets.]
[They're interacting! Squall sighs. It's weird. He's not used to normal either and there's nothing more normal than having a steady job so far removed from combat.]
I'm a cashier at a grocery store called Premium Foods.
[Never had it been more obvious that neither of them were well equipped for "normal", mundane conversation than right now. Seifer could hold his own with people who knew the ropes and could keep the ball rolling, but with both of them? Still incredibly awkward.
Just talking about jobs. Like normal people. What the hell?
That answer still earned a huffed laugh, Seifer leaning up on his elbows to peer over at Squall with a raised eyebrow.]
[They're both not great at it. Seifer has a little more experience, at least he has friends even if he has a really weird relationship with them that involves not talking as much as it does talking. He's also had some time to start developing a few skills from the last experiment.]
Wait, they changed it on you after you already signed? That sounds sketchy as hell, you sure you read that contract?
[Because that doesn't sound like something they should be able to do.]
I read it but the sentences were needlessly complicated. [And it's not like lawyers are a thing in Garden. Maybe in Galbadia.] The recruiter said it's reasonable for the company to reassign me however they want.
[He... read the one with Rinoa, which really doesn't count considering it's a special case and separately drafted and technically still hasn't expired. Thanks, Cid.]
You think so? [They have been giving him kinda bad vibes since he signed. Maybe he shouldn't have been so easy to fall for the guy's sweet talk...]
Whatever. It's just one month. I'll find something else after.
[He blinks. And again. And then he's ducking his head and casually bringing a hand up over his mouth. Smiling? Him? Never. Seifer being a garbage truck driver is not at all funny. Not one bit.
[Wait, what? His eyes narrow. Is Squall being kind of... cute? And where the hell did that thought come from? He flops back down on his bed, folding his arms behind his head while letting out an indignant huff.]
Shut up. At least I ain't a cashier.
[The words lack much bite. Even if he is being slightly defensive.]
[Squall huffs into his hand and does his best to swallow back his smile. Sure he said they're friends and he really does mean that but there's some rivalry status quo to uphold here.]
It is kind of funny.
[Okay, so much for that. At least he said that with his usual dry tone, give or take that hint of amusement. It passes soon after anyway as he continues more solemnly.]
... I don't like to think about what I'd do if I quit SeeD. I guess this is the closest I'll come to figuring that out.
[There is, which is why Seifer can't be caught eyeing Squall with too much interest. And has to feign insult, and act all huffy and indignant about it even if he really isn't. The playful banter is actually quite fun for him. And more relaxed than it was in days past. Finding more comfort in who he is and his own capabilities outside of the social structure of Garden is helping a lot with that.]
Tch.
[It is. He just can't admit it. Pride. Although as Squall continues the subject suddenly shifts to being much more heavy, and Seifer's demeanor with it.]
Must be nice you'll never have to worry about that.
[Does he sound bitter? He might sound a little bitter. Seifer was doomed from the start and he damn well knows it now. Doesn't make the sting any less.]
[Discovering a new identity beyond Garden feels like such a luxury. Squall's been afforded some in the war but getting to know what Seifer's experienced in the other place would be an experience.
The shift in tone isn't lost on him and while he knew the weight of the subject, Seifer's response still catches him off guard. He's silent for a moment. He remembers that Seifer's taken the SeeD exam multiple times. Apart from what Quistis and Xu said in passing before the exam, he doesn't actually know why Seifer failed so many times. He could venture a few guesses though.]
[All a matter of perspective. Having the opportunity, the freedom to choose is one thing. Having that choice ripped away and forced into the situation without any fallback plans or safety nets. Cut loose and left to drift. It's not an ideal position to be in. At least with the Iteration there were so many people willing to help. Here it felt more daunting.
Seifer's taken the exam at every opportunity as soon as he was old enough to do so. And yet failed every single one of them. Reminders of his failings were always a sore topic, but this particular one was an even deeper dig. He could never be anything more than a lapdog, pathetic, and a failure.
That was his legacy.]
Doesn't fuckin' matter either way. [He spits. And yes the hostilities have gone up, the defensive thorns slammed into place. Squall treading into something just a little too personal, where the digs might actually hurt. Had he ever realized the hostility was his own way of protecting himself?] No point in asking.
[Maybe he did. Once. Maybe not anymore. He's not sure. What he is sure is that being so thoroughly denied has left a festering sore.]
[Choice definitely is a luxury. Seifer's anger has Squall sit up straighter but that's the only movement he telegraphs. That thoughtful frown is there. He's trying to understand, trying to figure out the right thing to say. It really isn't all that long ago that they were still standing behind the same line. It's startling how far they've split off since.]
Maybe. [A brief pause. He redirects his gaze downwards.] You should have been. [Another pause.] You've always been stronger.
[A luxury long denied to them both. And while logically Seifer realizes that, it doesn't stop him from being bitter over the fact that their lack of choices and fate saw fit to grant Squall so much. While tossing Seifer to the side like so much refuse. A harsh reminder that there isn't enough room for them both.
He sits up to level a narrow-eyed stare in Squall's direction, barely holding back his malice.]
And a damn lot of good that did me. Not when you're the golden boy. The favorite. Doesn't matter how hard I fight, no matter what I do everything is yours.
[He snarls, barely containing his anger and bitterness now. Acknowledging it only helps him feel a little vindicated. In the end that never mattered either. Compared to Squall, he was nothing.]
[The accusations leveled at him is enough to make Squall sit up properly now. His expression turning into a fierce glare. What the hell is Seifer on about? Perfect? Everything is his? Who the hell would want all that weight on his shoulders? He wouldn't give back any of the good things he gained but it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows either. Why the hell is he being made to feel bad for that?]
I never asked for any of it.
[His anger is a lot more subdued compared to Seifer's but it's there in the deeper drone of his voice.]
[That's better. Not this placating attempt at friendship. Patronizing. There's the surly asshole Seifer knows so well. The one who has everything and can't be bothered to be even a tiny bit grateful for it.]
But you got it. Handed to you on a silver Hyne-damned platter.
[It didn't matter if he didn't want it. In a way it made it even more infuriating because it made every effort to try to earn something useless. No matter what he did Seifer would forever be relegated to the useless, pathetic failure he was destined to be. While Squall? All he had to do was exist and succeed.]
People try to hand you the fuckin' world, Leonhart, and all you can do is sulk about it.
[He aborts the growl threatening to escape, rising to his feet instead with his fists clenched]
Why are you getting mad at me for? Neither of us had a choice. I'd have given it all to you if you want it so badly. What's so great about having destiny pushed on me? My life was decided the day matron inherited Ultimecia's powers. The day I-
[He cuts himself off, scowling. He doesn't know if he wished he never told matron about SeeD or Garden that day. It was the right thing to do. The only thing he could have done.]
Forget it. I'm sorry I asked.
[He was trying the best he can. In a way he's aware he had the luxury Seifer didn't but it doesn't make it easier to have it thrown back in his face.]
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... are you going to keep me standing here?
[Outside his door. Nevermind that Squall was the one who barged his way here.]
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A blink, then a faint smirk.]
What, you want to come in? When did this turn into a social call?
[But he doesn't refuse, just moves away to go flop down on his bed. Fine, he'll let you have this one, Squall.]
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Since just now. [He crosses one leg over the other and folds his arms, leaning back in the chair. He has to think for a moment to come up with something to say.]
... I found a job.
[There we go. A good start.]
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[At the unprompted topic Seifer rose an eyebrow, turning enough to peer at Squall out of the corner of his eye.]
Oh yeah? Doin' what?
[He sincerely doubts there are many jobs around for their particular skill sets.]
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I'm a cashier at a grocery store called Premium Foods.
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Just talking about jobs. Like normal people. What the hell?
That answer still earned a huffed laugh, Seifer leaning up on his elbows to peer over at Squall with a raised eyebrow.]
You. Working customer service. With people.
[Can Squall feel the incredulity?]
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I wanted the warehouse job but they changed it after I already signed the contract.
[He read the fine print okay. It was just... a hell of a lot more complicated than Garden contracts.]
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Wait, they changed it on you after you already signed? That sounds sketchy as hell, you sure you read that contract?
[Because that doesn't sound like something they should be able to do.]
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I read it but the sentences were needlessly complicated. [And it's not like lawyers are a thing in Garden. Maybe in Galbadia.] The recruiter said it's reasonable for the company to reassign me however they want.
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Hyne. So you just signed it? Sounds like they're pullin' a fast one on you. You're gettin' paid what you agreed right?
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You think so? [They have been giving him kinda bad vibes since he signed. Maybe he shouldn't have been so easy to fall for the guy's sweet talk...]
Whatever. It's just one month. I'll find something else after.
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Sure, just don't let 'em rope you in even more. I found work too, ain't the most glamorous but no shady contracts from what I could tell.
[He has his doubts Squall's not being taken advantage of. He'll figure it out.]
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He tilts his head curiously.]
What is it?
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Garbage truck driver. Guess there ain't a lotta use for our skills out here.
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He manages a vague grunt in agreement.]
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Shut up. At least I ain't a cashier.
[The words lack much bite. Even if he is being slightly defensive.]
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It is kind of funny.
[Okay, so much for that. At least he said that with his usual dry tone, give or take that hint of amusement. It passes soon after anyway as he continues more solemnly.]
... I don't like to think about what I'd do if I quit SeeD. I guess this is the closest I'll come to figuring that out.
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Tch.
[It is. He just can't admit it. Pride. Although as Squall continues the subject suddenly shifts to being much more heavy, and Seifer's demeanor with it.]
Must be nice you'll never have to worry about that.
[Does he sound bitter? He might sound a little bitter. Seifer was doomed from the start and he damn well knows it now. Doesn't make the sting any less.]
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The shift in tone isn't lost on him and while he knew the weight of the subject, Seifer's response still catches him off guard. He's silent for a moment. He remembers that Seifer's taken the SeeD exam multiple times. Apart from what Quistis and Xu said in passing before the exam, he doesn't actually know why Seifer failed so many times. He could venture a few guesses though.]
... Do you still want to be SeeD?
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Seifer's taken the exam at every opportunity as soon as he was old enough to do so. And yet failed every single one of them. Reminders of his failings were always a sore topic, but this particular one was an even deeper dig. He could never be anything more than a lapdog, pathetic, and a failure.
That was his legacy.]
Doesn't fuckin' matter either way. [He spits. And yes the hostilities have gone up, the defensive thorns slammed into place. Squall treading into something just a little too personal, where the digs might actually hurt. Had he ever realized the hostility was his own way of protecting himself?] No point in asking.
[Maybe he did. Once. Maybe not anymore. He's not sure. What he is sure is that being so thoroughly denied has left a festering sore.]
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Maybe. [A brief pause. He redirects his gaze downwards.] You should have been. [Another pause.] You've always been stronger.
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He sits up to level a narrow-eyed stare in Squall's direction, barely holding back his malice.]
And a damn lot of good that did me. Not when you're the golden boy. The favorite. Doesn't matter how hard I fight, no matter what I do everything is yours.
[He snarls, barely containing his anger and bitterness now. Acknowledging it only helps him feel a little vindicated. In the end that never mattered either. Compared to Squall, he was nothing.]
Must be nice. To be so Hyne. Damned. Perfect.
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I never asked for any of it.
[His anger is a lot more subdued compared to Seifer's but it's there in the deeper drone of his voice.]
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But you got it. Handed to you on a silver Hyne-damned platter.
[It didn't matter if he didn't want it. In a way it made it even more infuriating because it made every effort to try to earn something useless. No matter what he did Seifer would forever be relegated to the useless, pathetic failure he was destined to be. While Squall? All he had to do was exist and succeed.]
People try to hand you the fuckin' world, Leonhart, and all you can do is sulk about it.
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Why are you getting mad at me for? Neither of us had a choice. I'd have given it all to you if you want it so badly. What's so great about having destiny pushed on me? My life was decided the day matron inherited Ultimecia's powers. The day I-
[He cuts himself off, scowling. He doesn't know if he wished he never told matron about SeeD or Garden that day. It was the right thing to do. The only thing he could have done.]
Forget it. I'm sorry I asked.
[He was trying the best he can. In a way he's aware he had the luxury Seifer didn't but it doesn't make it easier to have it thrown back in his face.]
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