PSA From your Friendly UN: GarbageMan

[firacrux]

I knew people were gonna throw weird shit away. That's just what happens. The mannequins were pretty funny.

But an entire fucking bag of teeth?

Where in the hell did a bag of teeth come from?

Comments

[hellofishies]

you could see through the bag of teeth that they were charred. a bag of teeth is unusual. a bag of teeth that had been partially burnt is weirder. so you opened the bag and took the teeth out to examine. the little voice in your head told you maybe this was best for the police but you ignored it. you wanted to make sure that it wasn't something that could hurt anyone! after all you have to help keep this place safe right? we're all in it together! when you looked at the teeth you could see that there were strange scratches on them. symbols maybe? bits of it were burnt off nobody could read it anyway. one tooth had something metal in it. maybe a filling or something like that? you're not familiar with teeth stuff anyway.

you asked a coworker to look at it and he laughed and opened his mouth to show a tooth that has a very similar looking piece of metal in it. after a closer inspection your coworker says that it even looks like the same tooth. weird.

a few days passed and you asked around about if people knew anything. nobody seems to or at least they really dont want to talk about it. but now your own teeth are starting to hurt. they feel itchy. so you're asking all of us if we have seen any weird symbols or had any weird feelings in our teeth!

i think i could do better than that...but an attempt was made

[firacrux]

Holy shit.

You've got a knack for this. I think I like your story better than anything I could come up with.

You gotta come up with an end for this!

[hellofishies]

do you want a good ending or a bad ending?

[firacrux]

Can I pick both?

[hellofishies]

that's two endings so you would never know which is the real one

[firacrux]

Alright I'm a sucker for a happy ending.

[hellofishies]

those are always the harder ones to make up

i guess for a happy ending you'll have to find that there's a cult. they've been cursing people here. its very terrible and you find a few bodies before their teeth are taken. they have tiny marks on the teeth just like the ones in the bag but not as far yet.

you work hard determined to solve the case and stop the curses and bad things that were happening to people here. you track them down by yourself and confront them. its a big fight but you manage to subdue the bad guys and save the man that they were going to make their newest sacrifice

now you're hailed as a hero because you stopped the bad people and saved the man! and he owns a strawberry business and as a reward he's given you a lifetime of free strawberries!

yay you for being a hero!

[firacrux]

They're the harder ones to achieve, too.

Hah! I like this one. Not only do I get to be a hero I get free strawberries. Who can complain about that?

[hellofishies]

You have to be the hero since you started it all! So you have to be the hero of the story

I bet you're a hero for real

[firacrux]

Is that how that works?

Hah. If only.

[Quite the contrary unfortunately.]

[hellofishies]

of course!

well if you're not the hero then you can be the hero now!

[firacrux]

That's.


Surprisingly optimistic.

[He's not used to that kind of optimism.]

[hellofishies]

i like to think people can change or just be better.

if i didn't it would be very depressing and everything is depressing enough

[firacrux]

You really do look on the bright side don't you?

There are plenty of others to be depressing for you. But you're right, probably don't need much more of it.

[hellofishies]

someone has to right? everyone else i knew always thought about the dark side. and there were a lot of dark sides after what we did. but i like to hope people can be better and things can be better.

[ or she just likes to fake it. ]

[firacrux]

Someone has to. What you did? Who's "we"?

Do you really think people can be better?

[He wishes she was right.]

[hellofishies]

we is me and my friends. and we punched a hole through something we shouldn't have

yes! sometimes they need a little help though

[firacrux]

It's an easy mistake to make.

Hm. Is it worth it? Why not just leave them to their consequences?

[hellofishies]

it flooded all of Britain.

because everyone deserves a chance to try to improve, don't they?

[firacrux]

I dunno what a Britain is but that does sound pretty bad.

A nice sentiment. Dunno how practical. Still


a nice sentiment.

[hellofishies]

a big place where a lot of people lived

its practical for people like me. do you not think people should be given second chances?

[firacrux]

Ah. Yeah that'd be pretty bad.

I don't know. Can't say there's been opportunity for it where I'm from. Fuck up enough you're done.

[hellofishies]

That just seems stupid

if someone keeps fucking up then you should try to help

[firacrux]

We probably could've used someone like you back at Garden.

[hellofishies]

i like gardens! what could you have used me for?