one } voice; un: jane doe (they know what everybody knows)

[scathefires]

Who wants to help me settle a bet? I've got two questions if you do.

One - do you have an expression where you're from that goes "close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades"?

And two - what the hell do horseshoes and hand grenades have to do with each other anyway?

private to seifer and nida.

So we never went camping, back in the village.

[that's. pathetic, but it's the best he can do for offering an olive branch to his brothers.]

Comments

[scathefires]

[perish the thought.]

No way. Those horses did nothing wrong and don't deserve to get blown up. And no, I don't know of anyone who carries around horseshoes as weapons, though with the costumed lunatic population where I'm from, I'm surprised no one's tried it yet. I mean, they're made of metal, so they're heavy, but that wouldn't necessarily stop someone who was committed to the theme. You should see some of the stupid get-ups I've come across.

[therevanchist]

[That sounds more like a Flash rogue than a Batman one, are you sure they're not running around Keystone or Central City somewhere?]

You have enough costumed lunatics for "population" to be a reasonable collective noun?

[Says the woman whose professional uniform is basically pajamas and whose primary enemies think this is a good look.]

[scathefires]

[#yikes]

Yeah ... one thing you can say about Gotham is that there’s never a dull moment. Those costumed lunatics will definitely keep you on your toes.

[jason would know, since he’s kinda one of them.]

But I gotta say, Condiment King wins the award for worst gimmick. I don’t think anyone ever disputes that.

[therevanchist]

[There's a pause, that "are you kidding me" moment when she's waiting for the admission he made that up.]

...That's one way to avoid copycats.

[scathefires]

[he is 100% not kidding.]

Yeah, you don’t really wanna pick up a legacy for being pathetic. If you’re gonna adopt someone else’s alias, better make it one that’s gonna strike a more significant chord with the masses.

[jason laughs quietly. he’d know about that, too.]

So you don’t have horses where you’re from - what about grenades?

[therevanchist]

Plenty of those.

[She sounds like she's speaking from personal experience. So many grenades, Jason.]

[scathefires]

Yeah? Any particular importance in accuracy with those?

[therevanchist]

It doesn't hurt, but you've got a few meters of leeway.

[scathefires]

Sounds about like what we've got where I'm from - 'cept we measure in feet, not meters.

[therevanchist]

[He can't see it, but Revan just looked down at her boots.]

I'm assuming that's one of those historical accidents and not that you have to go around converting each other's measurements into your own shoe size.

[scathefires]

That's way too much math for anyone to manage.

[soooo. nope.]

Nah, it's some outdated standard of measurement. Most of the world doesn't even use it, the States are just stubborn about hanging onto it, I guess.

[therevanchist]

Not that I'm advising idiosyncratic personal measurement systems, but haven't you got droids for the math?

[Why use a calculator when you can use a beeping trashcan with an attitude problem?]

[scathefires]

Mm, we'd prob'ly need to have droids, period, before we could have 'em for math.

[therevanchist]

You...don't have droids?

[Who does all the boring crap?!?]

[scathefires]

Not unless you’re referring to a specific brand of cell phones.

[therevanchist]

[She more or less knows what a cell phone is now--and her common sense has been putting up a rare successful defense against her curiosity to keep her from disassembling the one she was issued on arrival--and is thus aware they are not talking about the same thing.]

By droid I mean robot.

[scathefires]

There's little robots that can roll around a room and vacuum on their own, but that's about all we've got on that front where I'm from. Anything more advanced is either still hypothetical or fictional.

[then again, so is jason.]

[therevanchist]

...Huh.

[When you've had AI for a good 25,000 years, the idea of a civilization without it is a novelty.]

Why floor cleaners?

[It just seems like a weird thing to invent first, okay.]

[scathefires]

'Cause floors get dirty and people don't wanna clean 'em, I guess. What would you do with a robot instead?

[therevanchist]

[Assassinations, apparently.]

If I tried to make my utility droid sweep floors, he'd just start running over my feet instead.

[Which wouldn't happen if she did regular memory wipes, but she's not a monster.]

[scathefires]

[well. that's not entirely a terrible idea - probably more efficient, if it does lack the personal touch of a traditional assassination.]

There's a pretty easy fix for that, y'know - just keep your feet up and out of the way.