dualisnet | [voice] un: lionheart

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[voice] un: lionheart

I'm looking for someone who's familiar with magic involving mind control. I know someone who needs help. He's free from her control now but something must have been left behind. He still gets sick and disoriented in the morning.

Let me know if you can help. He may not think there's a cure but I do.

[Sorry Seifer. He knows this is going to piss him off but this is important. ~~Never mind that he's put it off for a little too long himself.~~]

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[He presses his lips together, frown deepening. Not liking the feeling of admitting wrongdoing.]

He's stubborn, so I didn't ask him.

[ She frowns at that. ] It seems like something you should ask someone about. Not communicating just makes problems.

. . .

[He knows. He's sharply aware now that things have blown up. It felt like the right thing to do but he didn't consider... Never considers these things.

It takes too long for him to say something.]

I know.

[But does he really? He certainly looks troubled. Frown lines so deep it might as well be permanent.]

[ She sighs and shakes her head. ] The roads to hell are paved with good intentions, aren't they sweets? [ How often did people jump into assumptions and thinking they were doing the right thing only to make a mess? It reminds her a lot of Sirkka and Jack. Always fighting and assuming and making decisions for the other. ]

You should probably say sorry.

... I didn't do that right either.

[Look he's bad at this. He shakes his head.]

Let's just do this.

[He's in too deep. He's not backing out now.]

You didn't apologize right? [ How does one not apologize right? Even her expression practically screams 'how does someone not apologize right?' Then again she thinks about Jack and how terribly he apologized. It's clearly not impossible. ]

Do you just want me to read your mind or do you want me to look for something in your mind or...?

[By being very very very bad at tact. It's a skill. He practically sulks/pouts at her reaction, glancing away and folding his arms as the conversation shifts. That's a good question...]

You'll look for something lost, I think. [He doesn't really know how it works.] The memories should still be there but I can't reach it without help.

[Buried or displaced by the GFs' presence. Locked behind fresher, newer memories.]

Okay. [ She smiles in an attempt to be comforting, or at least make things seem less threatening. ] I don't think it'll hurt. Or you'll really know.

[ With that her violet eyes blink and then start to glow bright white as she starts to gently poke around his mind. ]

[It was comforting up until the verbal reassurance, but there's no time to really protest. It's... wait how is this even supposed to feel like?

While he wonders about that, Arkady is getting treated to a quick jaunt. With surface memories of Seifer coming to his room to throw a lion plush at him, the feelings of guilt associated while doubling down on his mistake so he can continue to try and help him. His upset at Rinoa not talking to him until this is resolved...

There are memories of his adventure back home to stop a war, of falling in love and a waltz in a ballroom, of many battles and and a fresher sting of remorse over unknowingly killing Seifer.

And an oddly emptiness after all of that, like something had occupied the space and it hasn't been filled. In the center of it is a darker memory. Wandering aimlessly, exhausted and believing he'll never see Rinoa or his friends again, hopelessly lost between space and time... and the pain of having his memories and entire being torn apart.

If she makes it past all that... she'll find a small figurative pool of childhood memories, dusty and faded but still present, with the occasional memory from when he was a tween. The GFs weren't very discriminative of what gets shoved aside.]

[ Arkady begins with the memories on the surface. Things that have just happened, the disagreement with Seifer is the first thing that pops up. It makes her immediately wonder if it's a memory Squall's particularly focused on. That's usually why things stay in the surface, they're the things someone's dwelling on and allowing themselves to be consumed by. It's somethign she takes note of and them moves past, pushing deeper to another conflict. Tied to the same mess. Squall really went all the way when he made a mistake, didn't he?

There are other memories, things that are a little less focused on his more recent arguments. Dancing. Love. Happier things until...something much darker. It's aimless and the darkness pours over her in a rush. It's unexpected and she recoils from the memory for a very brief second before she pushes forward. It's not a memory meant for her. That much she knows. Of all people Arkady can recognize a memory that's meant to stay buried to keep the pain away.

Past that though there's something else. Squall as a kid. Or at the very least much younger than he is now. She lingers on those and then pulls back, her white eyes returning to violet. ]

I found memories of you as a kid. Childhood things! They'er weay back there

[It is the most recent fuck up he's had. He hasn't been making the best decisions lately.

Meanwhile, Squall is starting to feel a little ~~unnerved~~ concerned, seeing as he can't tell anything's different aside from Arkady evidently not being all there right now.

He lets out a breath when her eyes flash back to normal. So it looks like she did do something. And found something even. He perks, eyes lighting up.]

They're still there? [That's a relief.] Can you help me remember them?

[ she nods to both questions ] They're still there. Back in the back hidden behind other things and dark places. I saw something painful, but I didn't want to look too much. That's yours. Memories being torn...I'm sorry. [ Sorry it happened and sorry she saw any bit of it. ]

I can unlock them. It'll come fast though, are you ready?

[He blinks. Not quite sure what she saw until she mentions memories. He dips his eyes, exhaling slowly.]

Don't worry about it. I got better.

[It's just one of those experiences that stick. He looks back at her to nod. Prepared.]

Do it.

Did you? [ Somehow she doubted someone just got better from something like that. But if that's what he wanted to say and think then there was no reason for her to argue with him right now. There were other things they were supposed to be focusing on anyway. ]

Okay. It may be a lot at once. If you get overwhelmed I'll take it back some. [ She gives him a tiny smile and then her eyes begin to glow again. She doesn't spend even half as long to unlock his memories. She just went in and tried to gently smash down the bits and pieces blocking his memories. It'll come like a dam, letting all the things that were hidden flood back in. ]

[He doesn't have time to answer her doubt because 'a lot' is a little alarming. Still, what did he expect? He lost most of his childhood. He tries to brace for it without knowing how... and it still catches him off guard.

The memories flowing back in a rush. He slaps a hand against the ground to brace himself as the other hand touches his forehead. Yeah. Okay. Those feel like his memories all right.]

I'm fine...

[He manages to gasp. It really is a lot to get back all at once. Give him a minute. And maybe don't mention the tears gathered at the corner of his eyes. That has nothing to do with anything physical at least. He just really did cry a lot as a kid.]

[ She puts a hand out on to his shoulder and looks at him with very intense concern. ]

Are you sure you're fine? I can take it back. [ Had she overwhelmed him? Should she have let less in? Now she's just intensely worried. ]

[He shakes his head intently. Hell no. Take it back and then do this again? Maybe she can do it slower after but once is enough thanks.]

Ngh. Yeah. Don't worry about it...

[Don't mind him scrubbing at his eyes with the back of his forearm. Ugh. Embarrassing. And a deep breath to steady himself before he raises his head again.]

It worked.

Of course it did. [ she didn't think it wouldn't work. Not really. She was more concerned over what it might do to him. Which it seems to have had quite a negative impact on him. ]

Are you sure you're okay? Not too scrambled up there? [ She taps on her own head. ]

I'm fine.

[He still idly massages the side of his head though. It's a weird feeling.]

There was a lot I forgot...

[It's not a seamless retrieval since memories do just get lost over time, especially ones from childhood but going from remembering barely anything to a lot is a Thing.]

I could tell. A lot was behind those things! [ She shrugs though and gives him a warm smile. ]

I hope it's what you wanted really. It's a lot to forget then see things clearly again. I know. I've done it.

[He sighs and slumps forward slightly.]

Yeah.

[He thinks it's what he wants. It's a very lonely childhood though, keeping to himself, pushing people away.]

How did you lose your memories?

[ She puts a hand out onto his shoulder tentatively and gently squeezes it. It's the best amount of comfort she can figure out to give him. ]

I died. [ She says it simply and with a tiny halfhearted little smile. Somehow it doesn't really bother her to admit it or to talk about it. ]

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[voice] un: lionheart

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