dualisnet | text; un: panoptes

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text; un: panoptes

OK, I know I said my offer was one time only the last time we talked, but I’ve been watching all of you for the past few days, and I actually feel sorry for you. So I’m trying this again. Most of your more hostile comrades seem to be among the disappeared, so I hope those of you who are left will be a little more reasonable about this whole thing.

My name is Jack. I am not - repeat, NOT - working with the Head, and I wasn’t a member of the Heart, either. I’m not trying to trick you - my offer to help is genuine. And I even brought an olive branch this time. It’s a video I found, and no, I’m not Rickrolling - click here and watch. I think you’ll find it sheds some pretty interesting light on what happened here, back in the day.

Now, when you’re done watching, you have a decision to make. Do you want my help? Because I have a couple of tricks up my sleeve, and I’m happy to share them - for a price. My going rate is the same as last time - I want a story. A confession, specifically, of something wrong that you did and got away with. As far as what I’m offering? I can set up a secure network for you to communicate with each other, stay in touch, talk out whatever plans you might come up with to escape this hellhole. It’ll be a lot easier than trying to coordinate a dozen people into the same meatspace where yes, Virginia, you’re still being monitored by our evil robot overlord. So that’s one option. The other is that through the power of magick, I can make you invisible to all technological surveillance. Option A, the network, will need to be a group decision. If you pick option B, though, we’ll arrange payment on an individual basis.

Questions are fine, but I’d appreciate a little civility. If you’re only going to yell and be a dick, you can just keep scrolling.

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Hyne, if that ain't the truth. They really don't like that shit.

Hah! Shit, that's great. So why that one specifically, any reason? I'm guessing this is one of those Earth things like the movie references and shit you guys like to do.

[He's been given ideas. What have you begun? He's saving that link for later.]

I guess whoever started it just thought it was funny, and it went viral. That’s how memes usually become a thing - people find something funny and it gets passed around the internet until basically everyone’s seen it. We Earth folks are easily amused.

And what's a meme again?

[Seifer will forever annoy Earth folks with questions about their strange social culture. It sounds fun, he likes it a lot better than where he comes from.]

Also, can I just say wow what the hell? In regards to that video you put out. The hell did you manage to dig that up, even? Holy shit. I didn't realize the tunnels were full of fuckin' magic. Guess it explains a thing or two about...

Fuck it I don't know a Hynedamned thing about this kinda magic.

What were you using a confession for again?

How to explain a meme ... they’re usually pictures or videos that people find funny, and they get passed around so much they become part of the cultural lexicon of the internet. So if you reference the meme, other people who’ve seen it will know what you’re talking about, and it’s funny all over again.

But it’s not EVERY funny picture or video you find online. A meme’s kinda like porn - you know it when you see it.

[please don’t make jack explain porn, seifer.]

As for that video ... I have eyes everywhere. ALMOST everywhere, and I got curious about why I couldn’t see inside the tunnels, so I went to check it out. And when you’ve been using magick as long as I have, you sorta get a sense for when magick is around you. That’s how I found the recording - I recognized the sigil for what it is, and I felt pulled toward it. There was a kind of energy radiating out from it that felt like it wanted to be touched, so I touched it. I didn’t know anything about this kind of magick either, but I know enough about magick in general to make good guesses. And I’ve always been pretty hands-on with my learning, even if I did end up with singed eyebrows a time or two.

Right, the confession. People like me have certain special dietary needs - a Hunger, and it will only be sated by specific things. For me, it’s this type of confession. And if I don’t keep my Hunger under control ... well, let’s just say you wouldn’t like to see me when I’m hangry.

Alright so I think I'm getting it. It ain't every little thing you might get a chuckle out of, it's gotta be something that sticks. So it can't be too complicated, that'd be too much to repeat. Am I on the right track?

[Oh no, Jack, you shouldn't have. You've given him the worst idea. You know what's coming next.]

So what the hell is porn?

[Of course he knows. He just wants to see if she'll actually explain it to him. She can't see the amount of smirking he's doing right now. For science.]

Wait wait wait. So you use magic, actual magic. Like reality bending bullshit kinda magic? [It's concerning, but he needs to remind himself not all magic users are Sorceresses and not all Sorceresses are of the mind-controlling ruining your life forever fare.]

Uh huh, so this confession's your dinner. So what kinda reassurance could one get to ensure you ain't just tryin' to lure someone into this so you can blackmail 'em either. Entrapment, that kinda thing.

'Cause I gotta admit it's real fuckin' tempting to get the ability to shitpost about the belted bomber without Iterations breathing down my neck. But not if I'm gonna be sittin' in a cell or have some vigilante moron buggin' me anyway.

Yep, you got it! You’ll be meme-ing on your own in no time.

And yes, I use actual magick. I’ve been a practicing witch for a decade, and no, witches aren’t evil and don’t worship Satan or turn people into frogs. I’m actually an atheist! I’m fully capable of making things happen on my own - I don’t need to beg some invisible friend to make things happen for me.

I’m also an anarchist, and that means I believe in cooperation, not compulsion. Blackmailing someone goes against everything I believe in. I promise, I’m really good at keeping secrets. Any confession will be kept strictly confidential.

[and now, the headache begins.]

Wait, you seriously don’t know what porn is? Do you at least know what sex is, or do they not give teenagers The Talk where you’re from?

We use the word witch where I'm from but it doesn't have anything to do with this Satan or whatever. The hell's a Satan? Anyway, it's usually an insult toward a Sorceress. Witch, that is.

Why would you need an invisible friend?

Hm. Well. Worst you can do is tell a bunch of strangers shit about another stranger so I guess it ain't that high up the list of concerns. But I ain't confessing shit here. We're meeting in person if you want the dirt.

[Oh he's going to play this up.]

'Promiscuity is expressly forbidden and will result in immediate expulsion.'

That's it that's our sex ed.

[He's not stretching that much. It was only very slightly more involved than 'don't do it on the grounds of having nowhere to live and no marketable life skills.']

To put it simply, Satan is an evil entity in a certain set of religions that have a history of systematic oppression, torture, and murder against witches, pagans - basically anyone who isn't them, and even sometimes among themselves. They like to claim that witches worship Satan, which is stupid and arrogant of them to think of us as having any relation to THEIR religions. "Witch" is used as an insult by them, too. If you're really interested, I can tell you all about the Crusades and the witch trials sometime, but it's a lot more than I can easily type out here.

And invisible friends is kinda what religions are all about. Your invisible friend - Yahweh or Allah or Odin or whoever - watches over you, wants you to live a certain way, punishes you for doing bad things, etc. I don't need any of that.

I would need to meet in person to hear the confession anyway, especially if you want the invisibility magick I'm offering. It won't work otherwise.

And wow, I thought public school in Omaha was bad on sex ed. Not MUCH better than that, but ... how are you supposed to know what they mean by "promiscuity"?

Sometime sure, the history of these different worlds is kinda interesting. We've got our own religion back home, but the god ain't exactly a good guy. Hyne decided to slaughter a bunch of children since there were too many humans after his nap, according to some. Other stories got a slightly different lean to them, but I wouldn't say Hyne worship has been used for oppression or torture. We just go with the bland "we own this country now" reasons for that.

Yeah far as I know Hyne doesn't give a shit. Just eats kids, maybe turned into the Sorceress, who knows? It's all pretty vague.

Right. In that case make a time and a place.

It was military, so anything they felt like arbitrarily enforcing at the time.

WOW. This Hyne character sounds worse than most gods. Some reportedly wanted children as sacrifices, but otherwise, the closest thing I've ever heard of was gods eating their own children. Guess that's another reason I'm glad to be an atheist!

The place will be mine, I'll send you the address. The time can be whenever works for you, I just need an hour or so to set everything up.

And that actually isn't all that surprising for a military institution. Power and control is what the military's all about. You're lucky I'm here to help fill in the gaps! Pornography is printed or visual sex, usually filmed but sometimes drawn or photographed, usually scripted but not always. I'm sure I can dig up some examples if you need visuals.

Dunno if I ever bought the god story, but like I said it might have some relevance to it. Sorceresses and Guardian Forces for one. Magic exists, humans just can't use it. Normally.

Sooner rather than later, I got work to get back to.

Preaching to the choir here.

[Jack can't see or hear it, but Seifer is absolutely chuckling to himself. Ah, finally explained it! Though that's not exactly how he expected the conversation to turn.]

Woah, hang on, I just wanted to see if I could get you to explain it in public.

...Unless you've got some good recommendations?

[Seifer will never back down from a challenge.]

Oh, so you were just trolling me? Well played, I guess, though I don't have a problem talking about sex, in public or otherwise. Do you?

And it's not like I have anything specific bookmarked, but porn's not hard to find, even here. Especially here? Anyway, the point is I can find examples to show you if you need to see it for yourself. I did an entire semester of research into the porn industry and how pornography applies to feminist theory in college, so I have experience with research and evaluation. Got any preferences?

'Course I was trolling. Dunno, ain't exactly something people talk about it is it?

There's an industry? And wait what's a feminist? You can take that for a class? The hell kinda school you go to?

[Don't mind him he's an alien from a very militaristic world.]

Listen, I got no fucking clue here. Surprise me.

Some people do. It really depends where you are culturally. American culture is rooted in Puritan values, so for the most part, unless you're talking with good friends, no. But it's not like sex is some big secret, shameful thing that should never be acknowledged. It's natural.

The answers to your questions are way too much to type. We can talk about it in person, if you still want to meet sometime. Up to you.

[Oh what's this? Something he's learned about!]

Oh I've heard about America! And there was another... Japan wasn't it? Something like that. And uh, spring break, I still don't really get what that's about.

What's a Puritan and what are their values?

Yeah, sure, ain't like I've got much important to do. My employers are all gone so it's just me and an anvil these days.

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